Honest answer to how are you

The best sentence to ask someone if you want an honest answer.SKIM THE HEADINGSDO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?Yep, me too.Thats why, every day, I am studying new and sig

Honest answer to how are you

The best sentence to ask someone if you want an honest answer.

SKIM THE HEADINGS

DO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?

Yep, me too.
Thats why, every day, I am studying new and significant breakthroughs and discoveries around mental health that are science-basedand peer-reviewedand including them in my practice, my university work, and collating them every week into an email that I send out to whoever else is interested in improving their mental health too.

Receive this FREE content once a week that will:

* show you how to be more aware of how your mind works

* be more understanding of how other peoples minds work, and

* increase your happiness?

Just put your email in the box below.

I promise I wont spam or annoy you and will NEVER sell or give away your details to anyone else.

We ask each other a lot of meaningless and trivial questions throughout every day:

How are you?

How was your night?

Hows the family?

Nothing sinister, sure, but how many times do we ask those questions because we are socially conditioned to do so? How many times do we ask those questions, and we dont even hear the answer, because we have already moved on to the next socially-conditioned sentence in the conversation structure that we feel like we have to engage in every day.

Small talk, just for the sake of talking, is exhausting.

The one sentence.

But there is a sentence, just three words, that will not only start an engaging conversation that actually means something, and encourages people to authentically participate, but also almost always gets an honest response.

That sentence? Are you happy?

I am always surprised by just how honest some people will be when I ask them that, particularly when they are not the type of people who would generally engage in a conversation about their feelings or emotions or mental state usually.

As a conversation prompt, its disarming, and surprising really. Its not the banal how are you? that in 94% of cases will be answered with good thanks, and that will be that.

Its not asking someone how they are, and thus giving them the opportunity to come up with any number of adjectives to describe how they are (even though most people will default to the meaningless good thanks).

Its not asking someone how they, or someone in their family, are doing when both parties kind of already realise that neither really cares and is just asking for the sake of asking.

Its asking a question of someone which immediately shows that you, the questioner, cares and is interested in the answer.

For the record, I find that most people respond with either yes, no, or mostly. Every one of those answers, though, sparks a new and interesting conversation, and every one of them also allows me to meet someone  where they are  with kindness and empathy and curiosity.

How people respond to it.

If I ask if you are happy, and you say you are not, then the door is open for both of those to expand on that if we want to, and for me to somehow be of service in the life of whoever I have asked if they want me to be.

If I ask it and you say you are mostly happy, then again we both have the opportunity to expand on that if we want to, and by saying it out loud, take an important step towards being happy just that little bit more.

And, of course, even if I ask if you are happy, and you say you are, I always find that that answer comes from a more honest and genuine place than the standard good thanks answer will ever come from. I also find that someone thinking about their response, and then replying with yes, I am happy, actually makes that person even happier!

Try it out, I think you will be surprised.

So  are you happy?

Nick Bowditch - The best motivational speaker in Australia
Nick Bowditch - The best motivational speaker in Australia

Nick Bowditch

Nick Bowditch is a motivational speaker, the best-selling author of Reboot Your Thinking and Actually, it IS all about me, and a therapist and coach. He is also a successful (and unsuccessful) entrepreneur, TEDx speaker, inspirational storytelling expert, blogger, podcaster, and a passionate mental health advocate.

SHARE THIS POST ONPrevPreviousI am doing my best (and so are you).NextThe 33 things I want my daughter to always know.Next

Home Page | The best sentence to ask someone if you want an honest answer.

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Decision Fatigue
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Decision Fatigue

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Decision Fatigue: Why I wear the same $10 shirt every day

Having to make complex (or even simple) decisions every day can be really draining and lead to decision fatigue and impaired mental health. Here areRead More »June 2, 2020

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Finding Strength
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Finding Strength

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Finding Strength

Finding strength is hard at the best of times, but in THESE time, when leaders and leadership seem missing, how do we find our ownRead More »June 1, 2020

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Feedback or Criticism
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Feedback or Criticism

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Is it feedback? Or is it criticism?

I do a lot of public speaking at conferences and events both in Australia and internationally. The audiences who hear me speak are usually aRead More »May 27, 2020

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Let go of fear and doubt

Fear is a very motivating thing. And, particularly for people who are co-dependent or dont feel like they should be at the top of theirRead More »May 23, 2020

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Healthy Shame or Toxic Shame?

Shame. Even the word sucks. I want you to think about something that you have felt shame about, either recently or long term. And, inRead More »May 20, 2020

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

People are good.

Humans are funny old things.

On the one hand, we are pretty non-compliant. We tend to, largely, not really go along with what we are asked to do, and we are even less likely to do what we are told to do. If that werent true, there would be no need for police, or even laws for that matter.Read More »March 26, 2020

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Whats more important? The rupture or the repair?

Dan Siegel is a parenting and brain development expert. His insights into how children and adults sometimes resort to activating the most primitive parts of our brain because a situation becomes so emotional or so many other things are going on for us that we cant clearly reason, problem solve and find a resolution.Read More »February 18, 2020

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

The 33 things I want my daughter to always know.

My daughter is 10 right now. She is already a capable and confident person, and I cant wait to see what kind of adult she becomes. These are the things that I want her to know, now as an 10 year old, but also for her whole life. Im her Dad, and its my proudest job title.Read More »February 16, 2020

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

How we speak to ourselves matters.

I see and hear this everyday from my therapy clients, some of whom are very successful entrepreneurs and business owners: I am not enough. IRead More »September 24, 2018

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Decision Fatigue
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Decision Fatigue

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Decision Fatigue: Why I wear the same $10 shirt every day

Having to make complex (or even simple) decisions every day can be really draining and lead to decision fatigue and impaired mental health. Here areRead More »June 2, 2020

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Finding Strength
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Finding Strength

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Finding Strength

Finding strength is hard at the best of times, but in THESE time, when leaders and leadership seem missing, how do we find our ownRead More »June 1, 2020

Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Feedback or Criticism
Nick Bowditch Motivational Speaker Feedback or Criticism

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Is it feedback? Or is it criticism?

I do a lot of public speaking at conferences and events both in Australia and internationally. The audiences who hear me speak are usually aRead More »May 27, 2020

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Let go of fear and doubt

Fear is a very motivating thing. And, particularly for people who are co-dependent or dont feel like they should be at the top of theirRead More »May 23, 2020

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Healthy Shame or Toxic Shame?

Shame. Even the word sucks. I want you to think about something that you have felt shame about, either recently or long term. And, inRead More »May 20, 2020

Personal Growth

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

People are good.

Humans are funny old things.

On the one hand, we are pretty non-compliant. We tend to, largely, not really go along with what we are asked to do, and we are even less likely to do what we are told to do. If that werent true, there would be no need for police, or even laws for that matter.Read More »March 26, 2020

Self-Care

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

Whats more important? The rupture or the repair?

Dan Siegel is a parenting and brain development expert. His insights into how children and adults sometimes resort to activating the most primitive parts of our brain because a situation becomes so emotional or so many other things are going on for us that we cant clearly reason, problem solve and find a resolution.Read More »February 18, 2020

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

The 33 things I want my daughter to always know.

My daughter is 10 right now. She is already a capable and confident person, and I cant wait to see what kind of adult she becomes. These are the things that I want her to know, now as an 10 year old, but also for her whole life. Im her Dad, and its my proudest job title.Read More »February 16, 2020

Inspiration and Motivation

Nick Bowditch
Nick Bowditch

How we speak to ourselves matters.

I see and hear this everyday from my therapy clients, some of whom are very successful entrepreneurs and business owners: I am not enough. IRead More »September 24, 2018

Video liên quan